I think I can... or Can't

Something occurred to me the other day- while I was talking to someone, I said "I can't"- after I said it I noticed that I immediately felt like... saddened, let down, depressed, punished... have you ever felt that way? Have you taken that moment right after you speak... to really see how the statement made you feel? You might hear people saying "don't pay attention to your feelings"... or something like "live beyond your feelings"-- yeah that can make real sense- but if you take that really to a not good level-- you could turn that into suppressing feelings-- like packing them deep deep down... NOT a good thing.

You remember the story about the train that said "I think I can... I think I can..." you read that story and feel pumped up... if you are like me.. you think of the story, and you are like "YEAH... come on... you can totally do it!!!!!" You feel good & positive!! Can you imagine if the train was like "I think I can... I think I can... well, actually it's too hard... I can't do this... I can't do this at all." OUCH-- even as I wrote that I felt saddened. It amazes me how little things can make your emotions sway one way or the other- and how FAST that happens too... I mean like seconds man!!

Life is full of disappointments and let downs-- but it's how you deal with them-- there should be some kind of a life balance.

Here's an example of something I'm dealing with... So, we all know about me getting sick a couple of months ago- and we all know that the medicine I was on induced type 2 diabetes... and we all know that I am totally working on controlling my blood sugar to (crossing fingers) reverse it.  *If you are just joining us-- I encourage you to go back and read some of my earlier blogs-- especially the testimony one* Well- let me tell you all that this "controlling blood sugar" thing and pricking my fingers twice a day is driving me NUTS-- some days I am okay with it and others-- well, lets just say are NOT good days... finger wont give me enough blood... fingers sore (whether you test on the side or not)... sugar too high... feeling SUPER sick and nauseated... the list goes on and on. Especially annoying when my hubby is home for 24 hrs and I haven't seen him all week- only to feel extremely sick. GRRRRRRR!!!!! All this leads me to say... when I speak "I can't do this... I can't seem to feel better... I can't have this or that..." it makes me feel punished... sad... upset... angry. When I realize exactly what I am speaking and how it makes me feel... I want to turn it around next time. Today, I caught myself saying "I can't have this" at the grocery store-- and then I was like "no no don't say that..." I may not be able to have this but I can have that.

A balance. I've noticed that there is a balance to everything-- life, health, finances... good/bad balance. Do you have balance in your life? I mean, is there a balance- like everyday is not going to be a happy day- bad things happen- but do you have a balance of happiness to make the scale close to even?



So, when I was feeling punished, sad, and discouraged... I was like thinking- God really doesn't want me feeling this way. He loves me and gave me breath- why should I feel this way? It doesn't add anything to my life- worry, stress, anger-- none of these are good things- He doesn't want me feeling this way- and I can make the choice to turn around and give those feelings to Him. It's not a fancy process- it's quite simple.

God, I'm feeling bogged down by my life and circumstances around me- help me not be weighed down- I feel like I have cement shoes on- take the cement shoes off- help me make good choices, help me get healthy, help me deal with the health issues I am battling-- let me see your glory through all of this and be Your light shining for others to see your light through me. In Jesus Name I ask and pray. Amen.

You make your prayer say what your heart feels- or pray what it says above- either way- ask Him for help. He will come to your rescue- Don't stay in the dark and twisty place-- come into the sunshine-- it's a lot better... I promise. 

So, the next time you are in a "I can't" spot... try to remember...

Take care of you :)

* 5 Sides *

There are 5 sides to this starfish-- This white starfish is actually one of my favorite kinds! We have more than a few in the house... :) 

I was thinking of different ideas to write about tonight when I looked up at the wall and saw my starfish hanging out. I thought of some things that might help me through my days and I think that it will help you too... 5 sides, 5 different meaning...

Side 1:: ASK-- It's a funny thing... running around from day to day scrambling everywhere to get things done-- kids to school, work on time, tiny lunch breaks, grocery shopping, car maintenance... etc. Well, how many times in your chaos of a day do you "ASK"for God's help? A simple "God help me" can make all the difference. 

Side 2:: SEEK-- I chose "SEEK" because I am guilty of it too-- I don't really seek God's face as much as I should. I ask... What does it really mean to "seek" something? I personally define seeking as looking hard-- like concentrating on something that I want to find.. you know, like the game Hide and Seek? God wants us to find (seek) Him-- not just when we are having a bad day- but in the good ones too- Find Him/ Seek Him and say thank you. Say thank you for the bad times and good times-- everything God brings you too-- there is joy in it somewhere.

Side 3:: PRAY-- Prayer is commonly misunderstood in my opinion. A lot of people seem to think that you are SUPPOSE TO pray at certain times- See, the key word I used was "suppose to"-- Pray is something that should come out of your heart- pure and offered before God... not a "work". It's like saying as a Christian you must do this.... you have to do that... Whatever your "must do" and "have to" is... (ex: you must work in children's church.... or you have to be an usher today) these are all works-- see you don't have to DO anything-- these should be done with a pure heart-- not a heart that is burdened and bogged down. You shouldn't have to let out a deep burdened sigh before doing these things. Same with prayer... prayer is a communication between you and God-- your relationship builds as you speak to Him- Prayer is a fancy word for having a conversation with your Beloved. So what am I saying? Pray/ talk to God all day... at night... in the morning... before a meal... right now... Doesn't have to be all formal-- He just wants your pure heart.

Side 4:: LOVE-- Jesus loves you so much that He died for you!! There are a lot of different scriptures that point to salvation-- but I really love Romans 5. It starts to summarize what Jesus did for us. Here, let me share...

 ¹ Since we have been made right with God by our faith, we have^[a] peace with God. This happened through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² who through our faith^[b] has brought us into that blessing of God's grace that we now enjoy. And we are happy because of the hope we have of sharing God's glory. ³ We also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience.⁴ And patience produces character, and character produces hope.⁵ And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. He gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us.

 ⁶ When we were unable to help ourselves, at the right time, Christ died for us, although we were living against God. ⁷ Very few people will die to save the life of someone else. Although perhaps for a good person someone might possibly die.⁸ But God shows his great love for us in this way: Christ died for us while we were still sinners.

 ⁹ So through Christ we will surely be saved from God's anger, because we have been made right with God by the blood of Christ's death. ¹⁰ While we were God's enemies, he made us his friends through the death of his Son. Surely, now that we are his friends, he will save us through his Son's life. ¹¹ And not only that, but now we are also very happy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we are now God's friends again.

Lots of good nuggets in there hua?! See how it says Jesus died for you and me even when we were still sinners? I mean who does that?!! HE DID!!! 

Side 5:: WALK-- Your walk is YOUR walk-- and is like no one else's. Please please do not let others tell you how your personal walk with Jesus should be. Don't let them influence you. Let Jesus influence you. If you are having a problem- its difficult (i know because im guilty) try going to God first. Let Him take over the situation. The more you seek Him, the more you love Him, the more you pray/talk with Him... the closer you will become with Him. He longs to have a long long relationship with you because Jesus --- well, He loves you so stinkin much!!!!! lol 

You can totally come up with what your 5 sides mean-- I just chose some that meant something to me. 

Take care of you :)

Bandaids:: Good or Bad?

GOOD BANDAIDS: You are younger...it's a pretty day outside-- and you decide to go outside and ride your bike. You are pedaling faster and faster-- feeling wind in your face-- you're smiling as the sunshine is shining so bright-- when all of a sudden-- WAM!!! Something happened and you crashed your bike. Ouch... fighting back the tears as you look down and see that your knee is bleeding, your elbow and hands are too... yep... that's gonna hurt. At the house mom/dad cleans out your wounds and puts bandaids on you. The bandaids helped  to protect the wounds and help protect against infection. 

BAD BANDAIDS: There was this little girl who was really sick. She was on lots of toxic meds and wound up loosing all her hair. She wore a hat once in a while but sometimes, she just went without one. She felt pretty good about herself- knew she was loved and well taken care of. She was healthy enough to visit her school one day- of course she had one of her hats on. Everyone was so sweet and caring to her- but there was one person that wasn't. This person made fun of the little girl and called her names that made the little girl sad. This person knocked off her hat and laughed at her because she had no hair. Although there was no physical open wounds here that needed an actual bandaid-- she applied one-- she took this incident and pushed it way down deep in her heart-- she kept "applying bandaids"- She buried it- she buried the pain instead of releasing it. 

Have you tried putting bandaids where they don't belong? Pushed your pain away-- tucked the feelings deep down-- lashed out at random people because of your pain-- yeah, I've tried all these at one point in my life. Have you? Did any of it work for you? Well--guess what? Not one of them worked for this gal... nope not one. Sure I've pushed things way deep down-- only works for a little while... the suppression was like a ticking time bomb~~until it EXPLODED!!  

There are good bandaids and bad ones too. The good kind... have a boo boo? Put a bandaid on it. Have a boo boo in your heart? Don't put a bandaid on it-- do something BETTER!! 

What's better? Call out to Jesus!!! He's right there with you and he's there to "stitch" up the wound-- not just "cover it up" with a bandaid. See, Jesus came to wipe your sins away-- to be your healer, your deliverer, you very present help in time of need. He holds you just as he is holding the little girl in this sweet picture. Did you know that He rejoices over you? 

The Lord your God is with you; 

       the mighty One will save you.
    He will rejoice over you.
       You will rest in his love;
       he will sing and be joyful about you."

~Zephaniah 3:17 ncv

Take care of you :)

Recovery is a learning process

Have the flu? What do you do to get better? Drink liquids, lots of rest, take your medicine, stay in bed... why? Why do we do these things? So that we can "recover" and get better.



*chuckling* The question is... do you allow yourself time to recover?


Be honest...

Day 1 of being sick... "ugh, I feel like a truck hit me!!" and you go to the doctor & get meds and then you sleep and sleep and sleep some more- through days 2 and 3.

On day 4 you realize you are feeling better (but really are not 100% yet) and want to do EVERYTHING!! You think "oh, I can go grocery shopping now... I need to do the dishes... the laundry needs washed... ewww the bathroom needs to be torched and built back from scratch (lol)" ... you start to do these things... and realize 1/2 way through the FIRST task... BIG MISTAKE... HUGE... BIG... HUGE!!! Do you know why even starting was a mistake?

YOU ARE IN RECOVERY!!!!! 

Recovery is a learning process... learning what it means to take it easy, to take care of yourself...to (as hard as it is) BE STILL. Why? Because recovery is the key essential to getting well. You've heard people say "They made a full recovery!" Think about it... recovering is a key part that is played into your sickness.

Does your sickness necessarily need to be the flu, stomach virus, sinus infection, surgery, etc... NO! Your "sickness" can be anything you personally need to "recover" from. Examples:: Break-up/ divorce, a friendship relationship, family issues, drinking, smoking, any addiction...

You are trying to get well... there are steps to take... you are in recovery. You are on your way to "making a full recovery".

Im gonna use my illness as an example for you... I was diagnosed with Bells Palsy in June... although my muscles in my face are not 100% YET... we are working on it each and everyday... I AM IN RECOVERY. I also am battling Type 2 Diabetes (because of the medicine I was on, it induced diabetes) The doctors say that there is a chance it will go away... I am hopeful... right now I am on medicine that makes me feel like crap, but I am believing it is working along with my diet and exercise... I AM IN RECOVERY.

Now that was just 2 examples of recovery... what ever your personal recovery story is... know that God has it covered! He is by your side even when you can't see the light at the end of the LONG DARK tunnel- and believe me... sometimes it can seem as if there is noooooo end! But there is an end!!! God has it all planned out- I mean, it's life guys... what would life be without the messy bits?

Trust God and call out to Him happy or sad... He's there for you. Believe that He has your best interest in mind. Believe that he will bring you through whatever it is... because He ultimately will. I mean... His plans are to prosper you and give you a hope and a future!!!! (Jeremiah 29:11)

Like I said... recovery is a learning process- let God mold you and shape you through the recovery-- learn to draw close to Him-- learn to be patient-- learn to calm down and rest-- to be still-- (it's not easy... but TRY...) and when you make that full recovery... you will be stronger, and know that with God you overcame!! And when something comes along that you need to recover from again, you will know from your "last recovery" that it will be okay and that you will make it... it's going to be okay.

May this blog touch your heart and may you know that you will make a full recovery... just you wait and see!!!




Take care of you :)

It doesn't have to be Thanksgiving...

We all go through the day to day life --running around like chickens with our heads cut off-- picking up kids, cooking, shopping, driving from here to there, working... etc.

How many times in the day do you stop, take a deep breath and think about things you are thankful for? I mean really stop,breathe and thank. If you are like most of us-- you don't really... well do any of those things... ha ha.

Did you know that it really doesn't add any moments to your life by running running running??? It might get you wherever you are going a few minutes faster-- but was it REALLY worth the few minutes? This is the life you were given-- don't run through your days so fast running--- enjoy them- enjoy the journey.



If you take a moment and really just think about all the blessings-- it makes you happy, a smile appears on that beautiful face of yours... and a deep sigh is let out... "awww i am so blessed!!...sigh" I know I don't always stop & breathe... but the times I do are so worth it. Like now... so many things that are going on causing stress-- and then I make the decision to STOP & BREATHE-- this leads me to look beside me and see my cute pug & my amazing husband both snoozing together-- it makes me sigh and sweetly smile. I am so thankful for them both!

What are some of your blessings?
What are you thankful for?
What makes you smile?
What makes your heart SO happy?
It can be anything... a memory, a certain person, a place, a specific something that you hold dear to your heart?
Whatever your blessings may be-- make sure that you thank the One above for each and every one. :) Because it doesn't have to be Thanksgiving to be thankful!!

Everyday is a gift from God... (James 1:17) and I am thankful for that!!


Take care of you :)

Sorry for the delay...

Ever been on an airplane? You're sitting in your seat, luggage is in the overhead compartment and you are excited to get to your destination. All of a sudden-- the pilot comes on the overhead speakers and says "sorry for the delay folks, but there are two planes in front of us- we will take off soon"

or how about... you are planning on cooking dinner and you forgot to pre-heat the oven... oops!! You say "sorry for the delay guys... dinner is coming"

or standing in line at Walmart and the cashiers are changing out shifts - the lady looks up at you and says "sorry for the delay- we have to change our drawers out"

Sometimes... I feel like the "delay button" is pushed down on my day. Ever feel this way?

it's like some things that I really want to happen like... now... as little as waiting in line at Walmart to as big as a desire of your heart that you feel like you've been waiting forever for...know that God has better plans. You know, I would really rather have it His way and not mine-- but gosh... it can take way longer than I expected!

For another instance... I was on that toxic medicine for what seemed like FOREVER and it caused bad side effects... swelling-- AHHH I'm so so so done with the swelling!!! Im really ready for "my face and neck" to be back, ~DELAY~ and to make matters worse...I had to go on another medicine for my blood sugar...~DELAY~ and now have to check my blood sugar twice daily-- ouch-- ~DELAY~and here I was thinking "oh just come off the toxic medicine and wa la-- I'm done" yeah... apparently that's not what was in the plans.

~D E L A Y~ Hmmm notice a common word here?? lol 

What's your "DELAY"? Small or Big... it's all the same in God's eyes... because nothing is too small or big for Him.

The God joy must be in this journey somewhere... maybe it's the testimony of the adventure... maybe it's talking to a random person... I have no clue... but I do know that somewhere in what I call "this mess" it's really... "His mess".

He has come through SO many times before and even bunches lately... it's hard not to believe in what He is doing. I don't have to know... I may never know... but as long as HE knows... I'm okay with that.

Lately with so many different things going on in the world-- it seems to me that everyone is operating on a microwave brain-- no one wants to wait on the regular oven anymore-- takes too long... it's gotta pre-heat and that takes 10-15 minutes and then you can put in your food. Where as a microwave you pop it in and ta da-- food done faster.

FASTER... do we all move too fast? Do we stop and take a breather...taking time to rest and refresh ourselves? I mean think about walking in NY-- people move around like ants in a pack marching forward...

You've heard the saying "stop and smell the roses" -- for real... STOP and smell them-- slow down and take a breath. I hate saying "maybe this and maybe that..." but you know something? Maybe (lol) the delays are His way of telling us to slow down.

Sit with someone you love...Go get your nails done, go eat out at a restaurant with a friend or just yourself, turn on some relaxing music and read a book or the bible, call up a friend just for a chat... do something nice for yourself and "smell the roses".

Take care of you :)